A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Tag Archives: Living

The More Things Change

I had my surgery to remove my renegade fibroids and a demonic ovarian cyst due to endometriosis a little over 6 months ago. I even shared 12 Things I Wish I’d Known before the major operation. Now I’m back to give an update and share some REAL challenges because it’s been…interesting.

Let’s start with the positives (that’s always a good place to start)!

  1. I don’t look pregnant anymore! Whooooooooooo hoo! You know because I’m not. I can’t tell you how embarrassing/insulting it would be for people to ask me if I happened to be expecting because my abdomen was swollen. It was that swollen. I can recall a time where I was on an aisle of baby products buying my friend a gift for her shower and a woman arguing me down about whether or not I was with child. Tuh! So glad it’s no longer swollen.
  2. My Crohn’s doesn’t act up as often! As one of my favorite reality personalities Tamar Braxton-Herbert would say, “Hallelu!” That’s a a throw your hands up and praise shout moment because there were consecutive weekends that I would be in the Emergency Room for yet another scan. The culprit most of the time (now we know this)? Those damn fibroids. Now that they are gone, I’m only having a crisis like 30% of the time.

Now for the “They didn’t tell me this shit would still happen” part (and excuse my language).

  1. Ovulation – still painful. Matter fact, it’s so painful now that I’m just like, “Is there another cyst? Was there a hidden cyst? Let’s go find it because I’m not about this life!”
  2. My cycles – still painful. I remember my doctor saying that there was a small chance that my cycles would still be 9/10 on the pain scale painful. I should have had her clarify as to what she meant by small because guess what? It’s still a 9/10 on the pain scale painful.
  3. The birth control I was on made my boobs grow. That was an unexpected expense I didn’t want to incur and a part of me who is sorta vain wants to say, “This is a good thing.” BUT nope. My chest hurts all of the time.
  4. Exercising is interesting. Even now, I still have abdomen pain near my incision and I still have to take things easy because I have no feeling in the area of my incision. Great! Not great!
  5. My anemia is still weird. There’s really nothing else to describe that. It just is.

I mean, that’s all I have. Just wanted to update you all. Maybe in a year, I’ll be able to say, “Hey Y’all! I’m cured!”

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Living Fully

WHOOOOOO!!!! Before I get into this post, let’s talk about the fact that I have 100 posts on my blog! After three years (I think), I finally buckled down, got disciplined with my writing and hit a goal.┬áThis is actually post 101 and I think it’s appropriate since it marks the start of something “new.”

For the past few weeks, I’ve been intentional about being present and fully aware with how I’m feeling and with what’s going on. In the past, I’ve usually bottled up everything. While it’s freeing, it’s sometimes a bit weird to see the reactions of others because I know they think I’m losing it. One moment, I can be sorta great or at the very least good. The next moment, I’ll see or read something that frustrates me or makes me sad and instead of packing it away and pretending I’m fine, I acknowledge what I feel.

This has been new not just for me but for those around me. I don’t have outbursts but I’m no longer pretending to be okay. I’m also becoming more mindful of how ignoring something has an impact on people around me because I’ve learned that I’m one of those personalities that can’t hide anything. I CAN NOT TELL A LIE!!! in real life lol.

The one thing that I’m proud of is that this “living fully” is trickling into other areas of my life. Some exciting things are coming up (and I’ll be sure to blog about some of them) and I’m looking forward to all of it.

It’s amazing what being completely honest does for you and your mindset.