A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Tag Archives: Goals

Looking Forward to September (#31WriteNow)

August has finally come to a close! WHEW!!!! Even though I’m blessed with the gift of “foresight,” I can honestly say that August took me on a very unexpected ride. Some major things happened in August and I thought I was prepared for what my decisions meant.

I learned that I was WRONG!

But it’s okay (no really, it is. I laughed when I typed wrong) because I am just reminded that I’m strong enough for any challenge I find myself in and it’s okay to acknowledge exactly how I feel. Why? Because other people in the world need to know they aren’t alone and if that means I have to speak up, then so be it.

Anyway, I’m actually looking forward to September. I have gotten into the habit of setting Intentions with each new month (well, I set them with the New Moon really). For a while, I’ll take time to look over my Intentions from last month and see which ones were manifested and which were not. Then I think about my Ideal Life and I ask myself, “What would make my current life aligned with my Ideal Life?” and I set my intentions that way.

As a rule of thumb, I usually shoot for 6 BIG Intentions that can be broken down into smaller goals. For the first time ever, I’ve decided to share them here.

September 2013 Intentions

Intention (n.): (1) a determination to act in a certain way;  (2) what one intends to do or bring about; (3) the object for which a prayer, mass or pious act is offered; (4) a process of manner of healing incised wounds; (5) a concept considered as the product of attention directed to an object of knowledge.

  1. Secure full-time employment that aligns with the benefits I have outlined for myself and a pay grade which will allow me to fully support myself AND move me towards my goals of financial stability
  2. Identify and establish relationships of mentorship (identify characteristics I wish to develop in myself; identify multiple people who hold these characteristics and start conversations with them about possible mentorship relationships)
  3. Increased blog traffic for my personal finance and wealth-building blog, Young, Gifted, Black & Broke (Goal: 250 hits on blog for the month and increase the number of Twitter followers to 50)
  4. Increased blog traffic for this blog, A Glimpse Into My Life (Goal: 750 hits on blog for the month and increased readers to 75 followers)
  5. Develop my Personal Three-Year Plan (think a five-year plan but for the next three years. Why? I want to accomplish these things by 30).

What are your Intentions for the month of September?

You Can Be Anything!!! – pt. 2 (#31WriteNow)

As promised, here are my (somewhat) final thoughts on believing I can be anything.

This morning, I had a phone call with a support coach to help me with my business. I’ve been frustrated for a long while about where it is and the results I’ve gotten and after some soul-searching, I realize it was the same frustration that was at my job and in relationships and everything. Basically, there has historically been a disconnect between how people saw me and how they treated me. And I mean ALL people.

Including myself.

It is in this disconnect that the frustration has festered and grown BUT it is in this frustration that I have decided to want a new life. As my Life Coach AND my Support Coach (two different people) have said before, “If there is a desire, the Universe works to present an opportunity.” Seriously, they both said this! In being anything, I desire to be everything that I’ve ever wanted to be.

I want to be:

  • Wealthy
  • An example of prosperity and abundance
  • Content with life as it is
  • Grateful for everything that comes my way
  • A doctor (in the philosophical sense)
  • An AWESOME daughter, sister, niece, aunt, cousin, friend, etc.
  • A wife
  • A mother
  • An example to others that they can get out of debt and STAY OUT of debt
  • Stylish
  • Confident
  • A successful business
  • A successful businesswoman
  • Sociable
  • Worldly (someone who travels a lot)
  • Fluent in two more languages (Italian and maybe Arabic; the third language is up for grabs lol)
  • Healthy
  • A marathon runner
  • Well-read (I love books!)
  • Someone who reaches the goals she sets for herself
  • Compassionate
  • Understood
  • Loved
  • Mentally healthy
  • Someone who has grieved the loss of loved ones in a healthy sense so I can move on and develop/strengthen relationships with people who are here
  • A mentor
  • A mentee
  • An example to people that they can make it too and someone who provides tools (I sometimes feel that’s what I missed in the healing process)
  • A known blogger for Young, Gifted, Black & Broke
  • A writer
  • AWESOME

I know that bringing this list to fruition will take some serious self-reflection and some serious internal work with building a new mindset and developing new habits but I’m up for the challenge. What’s exciting about this (and scary all at the same time) is that people have also shared that I’ve only touched upon the tip of my potential. There’s so much more there.

Let’s see where this journey takes me next. Cheers!

Disappointment When I Should Be Celebrating?

Today at work, I experienced a moment of overwhelming sadness. I’m not sure if I’ve shared it before but I recently started a blog which focuses on building wealth while I was on medical leave from my job. I’ve even shared the relief I felt when my surgery was finally over and the fibroids were removed from my body.
 
What I haven’t shared are the “troubles” that have come along with those two things. The issues with the blog have bought some very critical financial issues to light and at the moment, I currently feel like I’m not doing something quite right. After being off of work for six weeks, I knew that I wouldn’t return to my job under the best financial circumstances (as we speak, my bank account is overdrawn). The thing that I didn’t get, and perhaps this is what makes this piece so hard, is that by putting my stuff on display, it means that I have to live up to what I say. It’s almost like having an angel on your shoulder that “checks” you when you are doing something you have absolutely no business doing. That’s not even the big issue though. I made a pact with myself that I would use new media and be transparent about what’s going on with me financially. I share updates via Twitter with followers on that platform and lately, those updates have been about my feeling inadequate to care for myself and handle my financial responsibilities. It just reminds me that I’m a lot closer to the place I feared as a youngster (homelessness and poverty) than I “should” be. Why have all of these markers of upward social mobility but I’m still on Poverty’s front stoop?

With the medical issue, I’ve had the opportunity to share my story and connect with other young women (mostly of color) who have experienced something similar. This has been great and it has given me the courage to act on an idea that I have. What hasn’t been great is dealing with the recovery process. Although the fibroids were removed, I’m still have the painful symptoms that came along with it. I still can’t move the way I could before the surgery and I’m still at risk for injuring myself.

Facing these issues have been incredibly difficult. It’s like having this great life in front of me and I can’t touch it. It’s like I’m manifesting things that I used to only dream of as a youngster but this “gift” is going to some other recipient. Couple my very personal health and emotional issues with apprehensions and reservations with my job and you have the makings of a meltdown, right? Well, put all of what I just said together and add in things going on in my family (I’ll blog about that when I’m emotionally ready) and you can picture how much of a mess I feel. I just feel myself unraveling.

 
And there is never a good time to do that.

Remember Your #1 Fan

On today’s morning ride, I caught Jeff Johnson’s weekly commentary on the Tom Joyner Morning Show. His message on today’s “Jeff Johnson Has His Say” was one encouraging people to start, or restart, those goals that they’ve put off. Although his message was geared towards an older crowd (he briefly mentioned his 20th H.S. reunion being on the horizon), there was an underlying message that I felt resonate with me:

Don’t forget your number one fan.

There are many reasons that people become so bogged down that they forget about their personal dreams. Life, and all that comes with it, can be quite unreasonable for a dreamer — but that shouldn’t stop you from reaching your potential. Bills (a constant reminder that nothing is free) will always be there, and no matter how many hours you work at that job that your despise, the same bills will come the next month. Don’t let the darkening agents of everyday life be the compass of your life.

As someone who has recently turned 25, I took the moment to reflect on what was now guiding my life. I asked myself, “In which direction did I see it going and why?” The answer was that it’s going to an unhappy place and quite quickly — all because I’d simply forgotten about my “#1 Fan.” This is the person who is with me through the thick and the thin. The Pep Talk Professional. The dreamer. The comedienne…and any other positive buffer that allows me to continue trudging through life — myself. Currently, my situation is less than ideal (meaning, I’m not 100% happy with where I am) and I found myself  questioning everything that I’m doing. Things as simple as going to dinner with friends are now met with, “Well, are you sure you should be doing that?”

THAT doubt is leading me to the place that Jeff Johnson was speaking about in his commentary — the place of “I could have been great!” I don’t want to be a citizen of that city and you shouldn’t either.

The good news is that it is very simple to keep yourself from becoming one of those people who utters the phrase, “I could have been and done so much!” There are five simple steps to keep you from that place in your life (remember, the steps are easy BUT the journey may prove to be otherwise).

Step One – Write It All Out

Seeing is believing! There is more truth to that little statement than people want to give credit. Once you write down your goals, they become tangible. They’re real. They aren’t just imaginary tales of success that are floating around your head while reflect on the face that you are checking out some agitated customer who is angry about your store return’s policy (oh wait, I’m projecting there). Take it a step further and add pictures. We’re visual people and we react to what we see on a daily basis. Once your goals are written out, you can decide the path you want to take to get there. You can set a time-frame in which to accomplish everything. You can, and you WILL, move…but it’s because of that daily reminder. So break out the pens and paper, or that laptop and get to typing. Take it a step further and create a vision board. Whatever you do, just make sure you write it down.

Step Two – Build A Network

Sounds simple enough? It isn’t. This step is almost as crucial as the first step and is sure to be more time intensive. However, it’s doable! You should search for two types of people in this group — Mentors and Peers.

Your Mentors should be people who are doing what you wish to do. Ask them what they did to get where they are. This is important because it will highlight whether or not these goals actually fit your morals. We all want nice things and success but we want to make sure we can sleep at night after we reach our goal. Ask them the potential they see in you and would they be willing to take you under their wing, give you access to their network, and actively instruct you as you go along your way. One thing that people fail to realize is that your success will depend largely upon who you know. Sure, you’re talented and amazingly driven — but who can vouch for you? What does it say about you when certain people put their names and reputations on the line for you? A lot!

Your Peers are your fellow dreamers. These are the people who will go through “The Struggle” with you. I liken them to a cohort of students who are navigating the challenging sphere of education or any type of training (think military). These are the people who you will cry to and get your thoughts together when you want to present a problem to your mentor. These are the people who cheer you on when you do amazingly well, and I mean, they CHEER! They send motivational texts to your phone or an inspiring email when they know you’re down. These are the people who give you a “Big Head” when you’re too afraid to do it yourself. They also buy you drinks and help you chase your worries away. You need them!

Step Three – Take the First Step

It’s as simple as it sounds — it’s moving to action. Let’s face it, you can prepare all you want and talk about everything that you’re going to do but it doesn’t mean anything until you DO. You must move towards that goal if you ever plan to reach it. As Jeff Johnson said, “If you can’t move, lean forward a little bit. At least you’re a bit closer to your goal after having fallen on your face.” So MOVE! Take that step! Leap! Jump! Whatever you do, just get closer.

Step Four – Remember & Edit Your Goals

You’ll always have to come back to your goals. You’ll hit roadblocks and you’ll question yourself. When you do this, pull out that piece of paper that you wrote your dreams on or look at your vision board. Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. After having taken the steps towards the goals, ask yourself, “Is this what I want?” If the answer is yes, GREAT! If the answer is no, AWESOME! You now know which direction you need to go in. Just know that it’s normal to wonder and question and edit your goals. You shouldn’t shy away from this but embrace it as a part of the process.

Step Five – Remember Your #1 Fan

This is what it’s all about! It’s you and the legacy that you wish to build. But why not put this step first? Simple — there are people out there who will make it their personal mission to discount, discredit, and dismiss your goals. They’ll see the rough drafts of the masterpieces you plan to paint and they will destroy them. Now, this isn’t their intent (well, not for the large majority of people) and you should just remember that these are the people who have fallen victim to letting time get away from them. Here’s what you do — you act like time AND GET AWAY FROM THEM! While you’re distancing yourself, remind yourself that you are great and can accomplish anything that you’ve put your mind to. Remind yourself WHY you want whatever it is that you want for yourself and keep moving towards that goal.

After all, your life is about You, your #1 Fan!

Day 2: Mission Statements

Hello All!

It’s April. I’ve decided (in the spirit of personal growth) to do 30 Days of Reflection — one for each day of the month. My goal is to simply begin the process of growing into the woman I wish to become. So with that, I hope you all enjoy my posts.

~Miss C. Jayne

p.s. – I’m well aware that I’m starting with Day 2. My plan is to end on Day 30 with posts 1 and 30.

~~~~~~

I am a firm believer in roadmaps. In this day and age, we generally aren’t too concerned with how the road we plan to travel looks. We aren’t concerned about our route because of this great invention known as GPS.

I think this reliance on a newer technology makes us too complacent. Often, we are unaware of how curvy, crowded, and troublesome a road may become because we can’t see too far ahead. The GPS system makes us comfortable in the sense that we can only see what the little screen lets us. Sharp curves and turns come up unexpectedly. Sadly, many of us (myself included), employ a GPS approach to our life. I am personally throwing away my GPS (which is often faulty and leads to lots of stress) and I’m pulling out my handy-dandy roadmap.

There are two things you need for a roadmap to be useful: your starting point and your final (or interim) destination. For me, my mission statements serve as roadmaps. At one point, I’m forced to take an honest look at myself and how I’m coming along in significant areas life (they are listed in order of importance):

~Spiritual

~Mental

~Emotional

~Physical

~Academic

~Professional

~Financial

Most times, this leads to a breakdown of sorts but it allows me the opportunity to set realistic and satisfying goals for myself.

As of April 1, 2010, I never wrote my personal mission statements down. As I look back, I wonder “why?” but I’m quickly reminded that the purpose is to move forward in positivity and I remove those thoughts (they are only seeds of negativity). Well, now that we’re past the set up, I’ll tell you how I went about the seemingly easy task of forming a personal statement and I’ll share the one that I use to guide my life (as of 5:47 am this morning).

Like organizational mission statements, our personal mission statements should be short, direct, and meaningful. They should convey to you what is important to you in no more than 5 sentences. These five sentences should reflect what you stand for (morals) and the person you hope to be (character). But most importantly,

THEY SHOULD INSPIRE YOU!

Simply put: your mission statement should be the morning jolt for your soul.

I’ve decided to share with you all (over the course of a few days) my personal mission statements and why I feel each area highlighted is important. In the coming days, you can expect the seven areas to be broken down further. I hope you all enjoy and write some of your own. Before I go, I’ll share with you my guiding statement:

To become a woman of upstanding character so that I can positively influence and help uplift my community, I will remember the actions of Women such as Zora Neale Hurston, Shirley Chisholm, and my many Mothers, and work to embody their positive virtues.

Simple enough it seems.

Dream.Hope.Believe.