A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Everyday Compassion

One night not too long ago, a thought flashed through my mind before bed. Life gives us the people we need to create balance in the world.

It was a simple thought but it made me pause and think of my Mom. You see, my Mom is a military veteran who suffers from a few mental disorders because of her time served. In addition to that, she was an alcoholic and addict most of my childhood. For a long time, I’ve been angry at my Mom, or rather the version of her today. When that thought flashed through my mind though, I realized that we (my younger brothers and myself) are here to create a certain kind of balance in her life.

For all of the chaos, we were her constant stability.

Now she’s in a dangerous place (and one day I may talk about it) and I’m learning what it means to show compassion every single day. When I realized that I had harbored a certain anger towards her and this hindered my ability to really be compassionate, it almost dissipated. I thought, “What if it were me? How would I want to be treated?”

The answer? With dignity.

I haven’t done that but I made a personal vow after my realization to start. In a world that tears down people just because, the least I can do is show compassion towards the woman who is the reason I’m here. I’m letting it (the pain) go. I forgive my Mom, myself and by extension, my Dad. In (unknowingly) refusing to serve as a constant of stability, I’ve created more chaos in my life.

If you take nothing else from my words take this:

You may be justified in your hurt and it may all make sense. Just remember though, after a while, you are the only one who continues to hurt by reliving whatever pain. Let it go and live with everyday compassion.

Dedicated to: My Mom

 

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