A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

The Problem With Goal-Setting

For some odd reason, all of my greatest thoughts start to surface when I’m trying to rest. By rest, I mean go to sleep.

Without fail, I find myself winding down by 10pm yet I’m jotting notes until 3am because my brain is always like “one more thing Court!” And who am I to say no to what could mean an early retirement? So I jot down my thoughts and things I need to follow up on.

But something interesting happened one night as I tried to get comfortable in bed. My Spirit whispered, “You know…you only have to set a goal because you like the goal.” I was confused and annoyed. I was confused because I didn’t understand where this came from. I was annoyed because I KNEW I was not going to sleep until it was figured out. Thank you Brain.

Thanks a lot.

Now, I actually said “Thanks a lot,” and I did so with as much sarcasm as 3:01am would allow. Would you know that my Brain said, “No problem and you’re welcome”?

Then it hit me – it being my problem with goal setting. You see? I’m great at goal setting and I’m super good at planning the necessary steps to reach the goal. Actually getting to the goal? That’s a bit problematic.

I have the tendency to set awesome and amazing and sometimes vain goals for myself. But more than that though, I have the tendency to come up with acceptable reasons for setting the goals. It’s my coping mechanism for thinking people will be unnerved at my daring to dream. I realize now that the reason I end up not caring about the goal is that I don’t connect emotionally with the reason. This is a vicious cycle to find yourself in, especially if you are like me and fluctuate between “I’m okay” self-esteem and “Ummm, what was I thinking” self-esteem. The goal-justification cycle is one of the most abusive behaviors I engage in with myself.

As of the writing of this post (3:07am), that all stops. I will no longer set goals that make me happy and think of reasons to justify my goals to other people. I’m releasing myself from the burden of expectations and the attachment of others’ reactions to my accomplishments.

Why? Because my Brain told me I only have to set a goal because I like it.

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One response to “The Problem With Goal-Setting

  1. LaurenHolmes November 5, 2013 at 9:55 am

    You write about my life. Seriously. I was up at 2 am last night writing out goals and plans. As always, wonderful work. 🙂

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