Living Life Purposefully

Where Purpose Meets Passion

“I Wouldn’t Have Done It That Way.”

We’ve all heard this phrase and more importantly, we’ve probably all said it at one time or another.

On the surface, the phrase is like any other that lets others know there could have a been a different way of going about doing something. But what about the times that it means more than “I approached that situation differently”? Because more often than not, when we deal with each other and  use that phrase, it means way more than what that statement implies.

Today while meditating, a thought flashed in my mind of an interaction that happened earlier this week. Harmless really…but I couldn’t put my finger on why I was so annoyed by it. So while I was supposed to be silencing my mind, my mind was busy trying to dissect this annoyance. Then it hit me — I was mad as hell about the “little issue” (the issue itself is not important but what I understood next is). As I thought about the issue, I asked myself, “Why are you angry?” and I acknowledged that it was because I wouldn’t have done it that way. To some, this may signal that I had an expectation in this situation but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that wasn’t it either.

When I asked myself why would I have done it differently, it hit me that it was because I cared about the person’s feelings because they TRUST me.

You see, when dealing with people (you think) you know well, there is a level of trust there. When you trust them with a small role in something significant and they carry out the task in a way that hurts you (whether they intended to or not) and don’t tell you, the issue isn’t how they did it. The issue is that you trusted them to do it in a way that you wouldn’t experience it negatively.

So when does this become a problem?

It is an issue when others can’t acknowledge that you were hurt and leave it at that BUT it becomes a problem when you tell yourself that you will bury it and just “move on.” After all, that’s what they expect you to do anyway.

As a Woman with trust issues, I realize now that most of my hurts stem from people I trust (which is huge) doing things in a laissez-faire way and not acknowledging that maybe, just maybe, it was a bigger deal to me than it was to them.

Bottom line, if a person asks you to do something and you can’t come through in a way that you would want someone to come through for you, just don’t do it.


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