A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

You Can Be Anything!!! – pt. 1 (#31WriteNow)

The other day, while clearing out some things, I ran across a folder of assignments and work that my Mom has kept for years. My first thought was, “How in the hell did this shit get in here?”

Excuse the language…y’all. I’ve just been frustrated about being the dumping ground for everyone’s stuff for a while.

So as I’m looking through this folder, I came across an assignment my Brothers (they are twins) did in the first grade. The assignment was a worksheet filled with prompts and they had to finish a sentence and then draw a matching picture. Seriously, what they came up with was CUTE!

One brother was like, “When I grow up, I want to be a… dinosore astronot (dinosaur astronaut)!” The picture he drew with it was equally cute — it was literally a dinosaur as a rocket (he must have learned about animal rights later on) and he was in a space suit. It was literally awesome…but what made it more awesome was that he got an “A” for completing the assignment (even if his answers didn’t make sense because they didn’t). The only feedback he received on his assignment was that the teacher corrected the spelling of his creatively spelled words.

But that made me think about all of the things I’ve ever wanted to be and all of the things I used to find joy in doing that I don’t anymore. At what point did I start to believe that I couldn’t be anything I wanted?

Somewhere along the line, I started to settle for what made other people comfortable and I don’t like it. While I reading my Brother’s dream from first grade, I remembered being on the bus in tenth grade once. I was singing along to a song (to myself) and a “friend” of mine encouraged me to sing it louder only to say that I wasn’t good at all and laugh [another friend told me that I didn’t sound bad at all and asked why I was in Talented at Visual Arts (or TaVA)]. But what stuck with me was the negative thought/feedback I received from a friend.

I have been needing a little bit of a push to finish my Personal Statement for my PhD applications and I thought of this as that negative memory played back. With that, I’ve decided to take a moment to just be my First Grade self again…and write out everything I want to be because I can be anything!

I’ll be back tomorrow to share it. 🙂

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