This week on Twitter has been exceedingly “interesting” as it relates to experience life as first a woman, and then second, a woman of color. I’ve always maintained the stance that being a Black woman is hard, and Twitter has provided all of the proof one would ever need if this statement/case was brought before a jury of ones peers.
Then again, maybe not.
These next statements are not for the light-hearted. I really don’t know how far this is going to go but it is absolutely necessary for me to get this out in a mini-vent session. I saved Twitter from having to experience this but if my TL was any indication, people have “muted” the terms “Black men,” “Black women,” and Harriet Tubman (but more on that particular piece later).
Earlier this week, the hashtag #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen was introduced into a conversation about what it meant to be a Black woman who identified as a feminist. Many of us (and I say us because I count myself as a feminist) are often silenced in the larger discourse when we bring up the issue of race and/or ethnicity. Why? It doesn’t make White women comfortable AND it would require an actual conversation about how supporting a feminist agenda that does NOT take race into consideration continues to uphold the norms of white privilege. Some people were mad at the hashtag and in my opinion, they shouldn’t have been.
Then we saw the hashtag #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen (created by @JamilahLemieux) where people (women and men alike) had the opportunity to tweet about the privilege that Black men experience because of the Black agenda. Again, in a moment when men (and some of their female admirers) had the opportunity to pay attention to what was being said and LEARN from it, most didn’t. Most men were offended. But not all. There were some good guys in the bunch so I’m thankful for that.
But there was a final straw…a damn tipping point, if you will. It came in the moment where I actually wrote, “Fxck this shit and the stupidity of some Black men. Good night.” What could cause an outburst such as that you wonder?
A Harriet Tubman Sex Tape (which was called a parody)….and some Black man saying that women didn’t have a problem with it when it was “dressed up on ABC Thursday nights.”
Bruh. Are you fxcking serious?!
This is why so many Black women are fed up with the shit of Black men. Here it is, someone with influence (Russell Simmons) decided it would be a good idea to back the development, production AND displaying of a parody where the central character, a figure of HISTORICAL significance who was a Black slave, is raped by her white master. Here it is that this video essentially comes to the attention of Black women and we start to raise our voices about it and we are told, effectively the following things:
- You shouldn’t care all that much because Olivia Pope sleeps with her white man every Thursday night and you celebrate that.
- Oh, I understand why y’all are mad but I bet y’all make this an ALL Black men are the problem.
- Why did you hold Russell Simmons in such high esteem?
And the reason that gets an “LOL…WHUT?” is because I believe in social media etiquette.
But this is what Black men need to get — Black women are assaulted and belittled daily while still being expected to support the movements that keep their asses out of “crisis.” From the time we are little girls to the time we are grown ass women, messages are reinforced that we are somehow not good enough. On an almost daily basis, we are mocked for demanding that we be respected…and then when it seems that we aren’t demanding to be respected, then we are “hoes” for letting that happen.
My head hurts as I type this because there is so much I want to say. So much I wish I could eloquently express about how tiring it is to be a Black woman in this here America. How frustrating it is to know that your men whom you honor, back up and love don’t really give one single solitary fuck about your well-being. What could I say to make all Black men understand that Black women deserve respect and love and honor and all that nice shit that comes along with White feminism/womanhood? What can I do to show that I’m a woman too and that I deserve protection?
I mean…up until last night, I thought we’d made headway on this….
Until I found out we had to defend why a parody of one of our greatest historical figures being raped was WRONG and that Black men weren’t here for our protest.
One day, I hope all of you Black men stop justifying this bullshit.