A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

I’m Not “Natural” For You (#31WriteNow)

This post has been sitting in my drafts. I decided to finally let it out because it seems appropriate.

I remember once upon a time telling a friend of mine that the most dangerous political stance I ever took (and continue to take daily) is asserting my personhood as a Black woman. There are so many instances in my life where I’m reminded of my “less than” status and I defiantly stand up against these things.

And I’m tired.

So that’s what this post is about. This post explains that I’m sick of the mess that gets thrown my way on an almost daily basis by men and women who mean well but don’t “do” well.

I have natural hair. What’s uncomfortable about my natural hair is hearing from people various comments, most of which have a “natural is ugly but if you want to have your hair ‘like that,’ then good for you but I’m not doing it” tone. That’s why I say people mean well but don’t do well. Initially, I was annoyed when I would hear things like “Natural hair isn’t for everyone” because there was always this feeling of natural isn’t good.

Unless you have good hair.

And by “good,” I really only mean hair that makes them comfortable. So I’m good in everyone’s books when my hair is pressed out or pinned away. That makes them comfortable.

Lately though, my hair has been falling out. Back in April, I had a procedure to remove uterine fibroids and an ovarian cyst. I am starting to think that part of the reason my hair is falling out is because of a hormone issue and my stress can’t be helping with this at all. With that being said, I’m cutting my hair. I think it will happen sometime in September.

Why wait?

Well, I want to cut it off completely. Into a fade. And I’m not confident enough to rock that look while looking for a job. I can own that about myself. But I’m also not comfortable with how people will receive me. I’ve already had friends tell me that they don’t think it’s right (one even went so far as to say I could hang up dating because no man wants to date a darker woman with a fade).

With all of this…I just want to scream to people, “I’m not natural for you!” I’m natural for me. It’s something I can afford and I like my hair. My NATURAL hair! This is the hair that I was given by my creator and it works for me.

I wish I could say though that the reception of other people doesn’t affect me though…because it does.

But at the end of the day, I’m not natural for you.

Maybe I’ll get a shirt that says this (don’t take my idea). lol

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4 responses to “I’m Not “Natural” For You (#31WriteNow)

  1. bpcharles August 14, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Great post. When I went fully natural, I received comments left and right because no would ever classify my hair as “good”. It was (and still is) super annoying that I can’t rock my hair without people feeling like they must insert themselves. Please get that t-shirt done and let me know so I can buy it.

    • Miss C. Jayne August 15, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      Yes! That’s always interesting to me. It’s like, “Oh! I didn’t know you cared so much about my hair?” lol I’m definitely working on a shirt design and I’ll update the blog once I come up with something I love. 🙂

      Thanks for commenting.

  2. Chinneliya August 14, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    Hi, I say be you and don’t worry about other people, you don’t need their approval. If you want to cut your hair then go right ahead, then afterwards walk with your head held high like the queen that you are 🙂 And don’t believe that all (black) men are obsessed with light skinned flowing hair sisters, that’s all mainstream media hype. I think a lot of men like confident women who stand out from the crowd.and are self assured :-).

    • Miss C. Jayne August 15, 2013 at 7:40 pm

      Thanks for the comment. My post wasn’t so much about what other choose to believe or needing their approval. It really was that I’m facing a major decision because of medical issues (I can let my hair fall out or I can cut it). Either way, it’s a difference and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. I’d like to think that people close to me would understand how scary this is and support me, but that hasn’t really been the case. As someone who has always had hair, it’s daunting (and reading your comment, I’m not sure if that came across).

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