A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Hard Truths & Difficult Questions (#31WriteNow)

I’m writing this because I’m going to bed…and I’m hoping that by getting this out, I’ll sleep better.

  1. Most days, I’m barely happy. I can squeeze out some optimism but it is short-lived.
  2. I’m stressed out — ALL OF THE TIME. My Mom (I live with her) is a disabled veteran whose recent health challenges have left me extremely worried. Extremely (and I’m not sure anyone gets it)!
  3. There are things that I want to do in my life, that I’ve always dreamed of. There are days that the obstacles in front of me look do formidable, I’m not sure that I will.
  4. I have only recently given thought to really building the type of life I wanted for myself. I didn’t think I would leave to see 27. I’ll do a recap on that amazing weekend.
  5. I want it all. I don’t even know what “it all” is. I just know I want it and I’m confused on how to get it all.
  6. My newest health challenge? My hair is falling out.
  7. I need a financial blessing in a MAJOR way because…
  8. I quit my job and I don’t have another full-time position. Mattafack…
  9. I have $5 in my account, owe on multiple loans, found out two utilities are facing disconnection and I have to pay on my health insurance or I’ll lose coverage.
  10. When it rains, it pours.
  11. How could I have been so dumb to leave without a backup plan? But I honestly hated who I was and the work I had to do at my old job. I don’t think I could have made it to the end of August. At all.
  12. I want the job I applied for. I REALLY want the job I applied for.
  13. How do you find out your purpose?
  14. I tell myself every night that “Tomorrow will be better.”

So I’m hoping that it is.

UPDATE: I wrote this post initially at 11:09 on August 11, 2013 because I was having trouble sleeping. This morning, this was in my email:

Screen shot 2013-08-12 at 4.26.31 PM

 

Now, I know that this is an email that goes out to LOTS of folks…BUT this was exactly what I needed after questioning myself.

If you’d like to sign up for motivational messages that are delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday, visit: Notes From the Universe.

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7 responses to “Hard Truths & Difficult Questions (#31WriteNow)

  1. Rae Mathis (@fromraewithlove) August 11, 2013 at 11:20 pm

    I will tell you – it gets better baby. It does. Please hang in there. I’m so glad I did. There’s purpose in all of it. There’s purpose in your life. ❤

    • Miss C. Jayne August 12, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      Thank you! I’m sure it gets better (I’ve had glimpses) and I’m looking forward to that. I think the big thing for me is that I never figured I’d be going through these things at this age. I’m dealing with issues my parents dealt with after they were 50 years old (parents being ill and being crushed by debt).

      But my Mom always says, “It’ll be greater later!” so I’m looking forward to later. 🙂

  2. Amy Juicebox August 11, 2013 at 11:40 pm

    wow. im sorry to read about your difficulties.
    hoping that 1 thread comes loose and spirals into abundance!

    • Miss C. Jayne August 12, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      Thank you for your comment. I’m in a much better space now. I just had to get this out. I am optimistic about the future. 🙂

      Thanks again for the encouraging comment.

  3. stacyaustralia August 12, 2013 at 7:35 am

    I’m feeling you on this. Almost everything on here is my story. My post for the next 4 days share my version. I’ve been down but never as far as I am now. That’s why I was so amazed during our twitter conversation about your journey. I read another blog (can’t remember who) but she talked about not wanting to waste time doing what everybody else expects you to do instead of doing your own work (meaning “the perfect job” “good benefits” etc).

    It has to get better. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    • Miss C. Jayne August 12, 2013 at 4:47 pm

      Thank you for praying for me. I appreciate that more than I could express in words. I’ll definitely be looking out for your posts on this. *hugs*

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