I know…I know. I’ve said it before but I’m going to say it again!
I WANT REGULAR PROBLEMS!!!
Today was a day unlike any other and because the Universe gave me hell from 5:30 am until about 5:15 pm, I’ll just tell of my Morning Mess (inhale, exhale, and get ready to laugh).
Today, I had to go to a local company that employs a large number of people. Since I’ve been home, I’ve tried relentlessly to locate a full-time and salaried position in my field doing what I love to do that doesn’t leave children in 3rd World Countries sleeping near open sewers.
And that seems to be too much to ask.
Anyway, after being un-employed and under-employed for so long, I FINALLY broke down and went to the one place that was sure to give me a job…in August. Yeah, that’s right — August. Anyway, it’s November and I’m still trying to get in there. Which is why I woke up before the cock crowed on today.
You know…I felt amazing to say I was functioning on 3 hours of sleep! Honestly I did. I got up and got ready. While I was ironing my shirt, the dang iron decided to burn a hole in it. Seems that little knob for the setting is useless and/or someone broke it and replaced it haphazardly. I should have known then the day was going to be “less than pleasant” seeing as I was wearing my LUCKY Shirt. RIP Lucky Shirt.
So, I switch out the shirt and iron a second one with no problems (thank goodness) and walk out of my door to catch the 6:23 bus. That’s right. I had to catch a bus at 6:23 am. In the rain. In the dark rain. But whatevs. I really didn’t have a problem there. No! I didn’t have a problem UNTIL this lady got on the bus and started yelling some compliments TO my bag. She said that it was bright which was great for a gloomy day like today and all I wanted was peace and quiet while I figured out if I could afford a Breakfast Meal at McDonald’s AND bus fare for the rest of the week. The woman got on the bus around 6:39 am. Sat next to me the ENTIRE time talking about my bag AND when it was finally my stop, she didn’t want to move.
She said we were friends (cue up migraine) and that we had “more to discuss.” Um…it’s 7:27 am (did I mention that bus ride was an hour long?). It’s too damn early to be making friends and discussing things (inhale, exhale). But it gets better…
and by better, I mean, it’s get LOL-funny.
Now, when I stood up to get off of the bus, it was drizzling. The MOMENT I step off of the bus, it began to downpour. I think the Lady I sat next to was a witch or something because my umbrella wouldn’t open. It continued to downpour until the umbrella opened. By that time, I was soaked to my knees and I’m sure my shoes are ruined. I just bought them on Saturday.
Anyway, I walk to Canal Street and the nearest McDonald’s because I can, in fact, afford a breakfast meal (YAY) but the line was out the damn door (awwww). So, I kept walking to my destination. All 6 blocks. I got splashed when a truck turned the corner too fast (insert obscenity here) but I finally made it and with MINUTES to spare. HOLLA!
But then I opened my bag to pull out the necessary documents for this whatever-they-called-the-thing-I-went-to-today and they were SOAKING WET. This is how I felt:
But then they told me that it wasn’t a problem. I’m not sure if it was the agony in my voice or the pain in my face or the tears in my eyes…whatever. She said I didn’t have to fill out another fifty-leven-hunnid page form. And everyone lived to see another day!
Okay…that was dramatic. Sorry.
Anyway, I sit down to type in my info and I’m told, “Oh, you can’t submit your app today. You must call John, Paul, that 17th Apostle we never hear about, AND the IRS. They wanna know why you’ve never filed taxes in Louisiana.
In my head, I only heard, “You woke up at 5:15-ish in the morning and burned a hole in your lucky shirt and got rained on FOR NOTHING!!!!”
Then I left. I walked back to McDonald’s. There was no line…but there was a suspicious homeless looking dude sitting off to the side of the counter. Now, I order my food and I step to the side to wait. They put my heartburn-inducing-but-oh-so-delicious Orange Juice on the counter and some random dude off to the side gets excited because he thinks McDonald’s gave him an extra orange juice. I was like, “Sir…Sir! Give me my damn juice” (go ahead and laugh at that). As I turn around to the counter, I see the chick signal to me, “This is your food I’m placing on the counter” and I step closer to pick up my order.
The homeless man sitting off to the side runs up to the counter and snatches MY food off of it. So, I hit him with an umbrella and yelled, “Not today!” Because…I really would have cried if he took my food.
I was hungry. My shoes were wet (still). My feet and legs were cold. AND THAT WAS BUS FARE!!!!
But when I hit him, he dropped my food and I caught the bag of food (while dropping my brightly colored bag and orange juice).
You win some and you lose some, right? Right.
I mean, this was after some dude in the bank tried to steal two of my quarters out of a fresh roll of quarters. The same rolls that are hard as hell to open but popped open when I didn’t catch them and they hit the counter (blinks).
I ended my morning with a trip to the library which resulted in three awkward conversations about why I’m single, my library card not working because my PIN was wrong, and some lady saying she knew me because I slept with her man. She had to be about 47. She definitely had the wrong person. By 11 am, I was done with November 15, 2010.
And then at dinner, I got pasta in my eye. *deep sigh*
I just want regular problems.