A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Forwarded Text Messages: Evil in 160 Characters

There are many things I consider evil in life. The mindset of Hitler, people who don’t speak up against injustice, overdraft fees at the bank, etc. But there is perhaps one evil that I’m subjected to almost DAILY and it makes me want to cry — the evil of forwarded text messages.

I have a few reasons why I hate them (which I’ll outline in a moment) but the psychological and physiological response that my body goes through when I receive one is quite hilarious. You know, 15 minutes after it happens. Here’s how I feel when I get a Forwarded Text Message:

If you can’t see the video, simply click here.

Anyway, once that’s over, I always have the same questions (in no particular order) and thoughts.

1. Judging by all of these damn FWDs at the top, we need something better to do with our time.

I’m not offended by the text message as I am by the number of people who actually sent the damn thing on. Usually, by the time that I get it, it has about 7. That means, at least 8 other people saw it (7 people plus the person that sat there and typed it). I mean, it’s gotten to the point where I wish it were like email (so I could email the ORIGINAL sender and ask them to concentrate on urban poverty…or something). I know this sounds horrible, but I’m usually left with a feeling of “We Have Got To Do Better!” And that’s never good. 

2. Why do I always have to do something?

My most favorite (sarcasm) forwards are those that come with a stipulation: “Send to 8 people…” or “If you don’t send this to 12 people that believe in God…” or “…your true love will not call you.” You know what? Now that I think about it, Forwarded Text Messages may be the reason I’m underemployed and single with only about 6 good friends that call me. Call. All of my friends text me, but only 6 call. None of them are hot sexy men that make me want to give up all of my feminist ideals to stay home and cook their favorite meals in lingerie while barefoot. Yeah…this is what’s wrong with my life.

*end snark*

But I REALLY hate having to do something. It reminds me of the time I would sign up for Extra Credit assignments because they sounded simple only to find out that before I could even start the damn project, I had to do a million things like walk a dog while jumping on one leg and twirling a hoola-hoop around my arm. In the rain.

3. Maybe if I would have forwarded that text message, Sallie Mae wouldn’t be calling my phone.

Usually, the messages with a stipulation get a laugh (at best) from me. Then I frown and toss my phone to the side. Then almost immediately Sallie Mae calls me asking about a $50 payment (Girl…you will get yo money!). I think that I’m going to start telling friends that they owe me 50 cents for every forwarded text they send to me that doesn’t make me laugh. That way, I can pay it forward. Or something. At the very least, Sallie Mae can get half of a dollar.

4. Who said this was a good idea?

Usually Forwarded Messages are borderline dumb. I mean, it doesn’t take much to make me laugh and I’m just not laughing. What gets me are the messages that are supposed to be uplifting and miss the mark entirely. Then again, I’m in a completely different mindset from some of my friends (and I may have ADHD), so many things lead me to asking this question. Today’s message was one I received 4 times (which actually leads me to another issue) and it was about Women Of Color. When I opened the message, I was all excited. Then I wasn’t. It went on and on about how we’re the only women that do XYZ and it’s great because we’re women of color. I was left with the feeling of forwarding that text message after changing much of it. Then I turned on my tv and Sid the Science Kid was on. Instantly forgotten.

5. This is why we can’t get nowhere as a people!!!

The messages that leave me with this feeling are usually the ones I can’t read. They substitute numbers for letters and have an extra ‘i” in every word that has an “i.” I really think this stems from two issues: (1) I was never a pro at AIM-speak and (2) I am a stickler for grammar. When I receive these texts I wonder, “How will this child fare in an introductory English course at the university level?” I’ve had the experience of TAing before and you’d be surprised at just how comfortable students are with using AIM-speak in an essay. All jokes aside, this really needs to stop. 

6. Why can’t these be funny?

Back to the jokes, why can’t they be funny!?!? That’s what I always wonder. I can only think of one person that faithfully sends me funny (read: inappropriate) messages. Granted, you have to know what kind of sense of humor you’re dealing with. I personally believe that forwarded messages should be funny. Like a joke. Or a Lil Duval. I don’t think they should be “uplifting” messages with stipulations. If you know someone is going through a hard time, sit down and send them a personal thought. Leave God out of it too…if they are someone like me (which is another discussion for another day).

7. Um, I wonder if I should respond and tell them that they cut off the last part of this message.

The biggest pet peeve about a forwarded message besides it being a forwarded message is when it gets cut off because someone sent it to their one friend whose phone is not MMS capable so every person after that gets it and reads

Yeah. I hate that. See how pissed you are? That’s how I am every time it happens to me. Anywho folks, if your phone can’t just do a forwarded text like your email can do a forwarded email, then stop forwarding stuff. Please. Although I did ask once why the message wasn’t there and the response I received was, “You just can’t read because it says —!” Oh? I can’t read now. Ok.

8. I know this is not what woke me up/had me pause my tweeting, listening to music, texting people about things that matter like Waka Flocka’s song and why it’s great.

OH! Usually I get text messages at two points in the day: when I’m sleeping AND when I’m taking a nap. I also get them when I’m having a very interesting conversation with other people. Totally ruins my train of thought. I’m going on a campaign to start sending Waka Flocka Flame and Gucci Mane and Yo Gotti song titles to people as a response. Or maybe not. That sounds like work and something that will cut into my precious nap time.

9. Hmmm, I can’t get those 10-16 seconds of my life back.

This really does sum it up.

People, in the interest of humanity, let’s stop forwarding text messages OR at least start to care about our friends by asking if they really like them.


3 responses to “Forwarded Text Messages: Evil in 160 Characters

  1. Helena Gardner October 22, 2010 at 11:00 am

    OMG, that was hillarious. (That OMG was just for you!)

  2. Melissa October 22, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    lol I am so glad I stoppe d receiving those horrible forwarded texts. Stop sending Court forwarded text messages people!

  3. jaye October 22, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    lmao, say that sh*t girl!!

    Every last one of these points is…on point! I hate, hate, HATE forwarded text messages. Especially the fake amber alerts/missing children ones, those kill me; that could’ve been time you spent spreading the word about a REAL missing child. Ugh.

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