A Glimpse Into My Life

See it through my eyes & understand me a little more

Monthly Archives: October 2009

Just Let Me Speak My Peace

So, I recently felt compelled to write this blog because of current events that took place earlier today (Wednesday to be exact). After a few hours of dealing with issues, I took to my Twitter to tweet! I simply let out my frustration over the entire situation and since it was already after midnight, I wrote, “Thursday is going to be a horrible day.”

Someone, in trying to remain positive, told me that I shouldn’t write things like that. In all fairness to them, I understand their position. However, I’m a person that tends to hold a lot of things in…and sometimes, I get really frustrated. I let it out. I effectively vent.

See, whether or not people realize this, there is a time for everything. You can vent. You have that right. As a matter of fact, I think people should learn how to perfect that craft so that they too can let out their anger and frustration in a healthy way. I’m not saying, “Don’t be positive.” I’m not telling you to not look for your silver lining. No, I’m saying that sometimes you have to let that anger out with your words. If you feel that something is going horribly wrong, say so. Other people, namely your friends, will be there to offer those positive words and bring you back to your happy place. Even if you don’t have those people there to do that for you, trust me…you feel better.

See, what happens for me when I don’t vent is that I spiral deeper and deeper into a “bad” mood (my moods have degrees…it’s crazy). So, if I say to myself, “Things will work out” after something horribly dumb happens and it leaves me (for lack of a better term) pissed off, it usually doesn’t get better. I stub my toe, roll an ankle, forget an important assignment at home, etc., and my day continues to get worse. So, I’ve learned to vent.

Which leads me to the next thing that I want to say. I’ve come across people who’ve told me that I always seem to be angry. I can’t fault them for that. It’s what I project. See, when I began to blog, it was to come to a place where people didn’t know me and I felt comfortable enough writing about the things that bothered me or happened to me and left me confused. The more I began to write, the easier it became for me to say to myself and for myself, that “this is what went wrong and this is how I felt.” To some, I can see how I’m always “negative.” I would find myself in a defensive stance because I’m always the friend, in REAL life, to offer encouragement to someone. I’m the person that listens or offers a shoulder when someone needs to cry or to lend support. You know what happens when that kind of person doesn’t get those things reciprocated?

It all goes to hell.

So, I started to blog. I wrote and I felt better. I felt better because I would vent.

I said all of that to say this — if you don’t agree with what I write, you don’t have to comment. Just take your disagreement and keep it to yourself. If you don’t like what I’m saying when I’m obviously having a shitty moment, don’t say so…you’re going to make the moment “shittier.” If you would like for me to be more positive, then maybe you can say so…but I guarantee that if you really pay attention, you’ll notice when I start to feel better. I usually feel better. There is a 99.99% chance that I WILL feel better…so you don’t have to tell me to erase my negative thoughts.

I promise, I’m okay. I just need to speak my “peace.”

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